Alphabet for Life

This post is taken from Aligning With Grace.

I came across a plaque recently entitled "Alphabet for Life," with each letter of the alphabet consisting of both a kernel of wisdom and a dictum for living life fully. As we stand on the threshold of ending one year, and beginning another, there is much to ponder and which we can embrace in these simple maxims...

Accept differences
Be kind
Count your blessings
Dream
Express thanks
Forgive
Give freely
Harm no one
Imagine more
Jettison anger
Keep confidence
Love truly
Master something
Nurture hope
Open your mind
Pack lightly
Quell rumors
Reciprocate
Seek wisdom
Touch hearts
Understand
Value truth
Win graciously
Xeriscape
Yearn for peace
Zealously support a worthy cause

12 Days of Christmas

Wishing you and your family, 

a very Merry Christmas.

The Big Black Dog

  This gives me hope.

Toot Toot!

Nov. 29 - Toot that Horn! 
Want to hear a secret? You’re awesome. (It’s actually not even really a secret). This is going to be hard for you, O Modest One, but you gotta give yourself props today! Write three things you love about yourself – things you’re great at – or just want to share. Don’t you dare signpost or undercut those self-compliments!

Why yes, I am awesome!  I do my best to be a good listener and think outside the box.  I try not to judge and work hard to be proactive.  :) 

This one is the hardest one for me... I'm not very good at tooting my own horn.

Giving Thanks

Nov. 28.  A Time to Give Thanks

What’s the one thing you’re most thankful for? Write a list of three things that you’re thankful for, excited about, or inspired by.

I am thankful that I have a family who loves me no matter my condition.  

1.  I love that my niece, Missy, can spell my name independently and knows my phone number by heart!  She inspires me to find new reasons to smile each day and just embrace the silliness of it all.

2.  I am excited that I am getting one of those cool gel pillows for Christmas this year!  I freaking love my sister's and cannot wait to get it!!  I really think it will help with my night sweats and help me rest better.  

3.  I am in awe of my sister and how creative she is.  She has the ability to pick up new skills, create stunning crafts out of gaudy trashy looking items...  She has no idea how amazing she is.  I love you Jennifer!! 

Black Friday - No Way!

Nov. 27.  Black Friday and Holiday Shopping - In preparation for Black Friday holiday shopping, give some advice on how to survive the long lines and packed stores. How do you find the best bathrooms? How do you stay comfortable on your feet? Give us some tips before heading to the stores.

Order online!  Or do what I do - offer to babysit so your friends can go shopping, then slip them some cash and your list. :)  We can usually get the children to enjoy a cuddly fun day of movies, books, snacks, helping cook, and decorating the tree... Which is much more fibro-friendly than fighting it out in the mall at 4am.  

Top Three Questions

Nov. 26 - Top Three Tuesdays: List three questions you have for other patients.

1.  How do you manage to exercise?

2.  How do you juggle your work/job with your illness(es)?

3.  How do you not feel guilty for doing more with your family?

Taking the High Road

Nov. 24. Take the High Road:  Write about a time you had to be the bigger person and take the high road.

A few days before my Dad passed away, I was very sick with a nasty stomach virus.  My lupus was irritated and the medications and harsh virus symptoms had thrown me into a major fibro flare.  I was absolutely miserable...  Dad called and we talked, but he could tell I was very sick so he told me to rest for a while and he would call me later.  

About two hours later, Mom called and said that he had coded and was being rushed to the hospital on an ambulance.  So I got dressed and met them at the hospital.  Whenever I called the Nursing Home to speak with one of the nurses (while he was in route) she fussed that I should have been there to see him instead of at home.  In her professional medical opinion, she stated that my "issues" were psychological and I was being selfish.... I knew that I was doing everything I could do to help Dad, going to see him almost every day, having multiple conversations with him over the phone every single day, and doing a lot of surprise checks on  him and the nursing staff - sometimes even twice a day!  I was terrified and was so sick - but I knew that she was also scared... and that my Dad would not want me to show my @$$.  So I took the high road.  

I'm not sure if this is what this post is asking about, but... for me it counts.

Rest in peace, Dad.  I love you. 

Teaching the Teacher

Nov. 23. Teaching the Teacher. 
What’s something you taught your doctor related to your health?

When I was first diagnosed with fibro/lupus, I kept a detailed pain journal that included everything that I ate, done, felt, and even watched on tv!  (Yes I was one of 'those patients'! lol)  I was able to show proof that pain elevates my blood sugar - drastically, but by increasing my water and laughing I can ease my pain.  

Favorite Blogs

Nov. 22.  Favorite Fridays.  What are your favorite blogs to read and why?

My three favorite health/condition related blogs are:  

Felicia Fibro has an amazing site that has gotten me through a lot. 

But You Don't Look Sick - very good information and a variety of authors help keep the site fresh and offers various perspectives. 

Fight Like A Girl Club - This site is inspiring on those days I need a little push.

At least once a week, I skip on over to Illustrated with Crappy Pictures to check out the hilarious styles of blogging artist, Amber Dusick.  Her work always makes me laugh, sometimes I will go through and read the archives - but not in a stalkerish kind of way.  

Mental Mind Meld

Nov. 21.  Mental Mind Meld.

Mental health issues can affect many other conditions. Write about mental health, emotions, and challenges as they relate to your condition. How does your mental health affect your overall wellbeing?

All month long I dreaded this blog entry - this is what I am struggling with the most right now... I don't know if it is the grief or depression/anxiety that comes with chronic pain... or if it is from my time on the insulin pump and how my 'normal sugar levels' are changing... or if its from my fibro/lupus and the medication changes I've been going through... or could it be depression as my cervical cancer is finally in remission...  or am I having a mid-life crisis because I am 34 and completely utterly alone - so much worse than just being single... or am I just going crazy? 

Whatever it is, I am not doing well with it at all.  Which means I'm not resting well when I have the chance, which leads to problems focusing and concentrating (outside of work)... I feel somewhat normal at work most of the time, so I am spending massive amounts of time there - I have a purpose at work... and that's not good for me either.

So the short answer to the blog question is:  pfft. 

  

Three Pieces of Advice

Nov. 19.  Top Three Tuesday.  Give three pieces of advice you would give to a caregiver.

I am also a professional caregiver, and I train others to take care of our patients.  In my personal life, have been on both sides of the care giving relationship.  I took care of my best friend and both of my parents before they passed away.  And I have days where my parents - now my sister and her husband take care of me.  So I think that I have a slightly different perspective than most spoonies. 

The first piece of advice I always give someone new is that someone's condition or illness is -not- their responsibility.  Providing care is a big role to take but if the person becomes sicker it is NOT because the caregiver is doing anything wrong.  Sometimes things will get worse, sometimes things will get better.  I feel that sometimes caregivers are bullied into voicing a rose-colored-glasses view on things so no one will think they are doing a poor job. 

The second piece of advice I usually give is to carve out time for themselves.  Not just 10 minutes for a hot shower or a cup of coffee, but some real time.  An hour - at least.  The caregiver needs to be able to rest, read, drink a cup of coffee - do whatever he/she needs to recharge.

The last piece of advice I tend to offer is to have a notebook on hand.  Writing down questions or odd symptoms can come in handy at doctor appointments - especially if the caregiver is not the one taking the patient to the doctor.  Also, during doctor appointments, notes can be taken as well to help communicate with the entire care team.  
  

Three Truths and a Lie

Nov. 18.  Three Truths and a Lie.
Tell us three things that are true about you, your condition, your Health Activism, or your life. Now tell us a lie. Do you think we will be able to tell the difference?

#1.  I participated in Locks of Love, donating thirteen inches of hair.

#2.  I have a tattoo in memory of my parents.

#3.  I have been caught in the middle of a hurricane.

#4.  I have visited eight countries in Europe.

Can you tell which is the lie?  

Don't peek yet, that's cheating!

OK ok ok 

The lie is #2 - The truth is that I do not have a tattoo - yet.  I am very interested in getting one but cannot make up my mind what I want or where I want to have it placed.  Since they are super-permanent, I don't want to get anything until I can make up my mind.  Plus I'm a little scared how my condition/body will respond to the pain/procedure of getting tatted.  

  

Evolving as a person

Nov. 13.  Evolution.  Write about how being a patient or caregiver has changed you. How have your goals changed? Have your values changed?

I was always the one helping take care of everyone while I was growing up.  I assisted Mom with babysitting, by either changing diapers, giving snacks, helping younger kids with their homework, etc.  I also did a lot of work with the animals on the farm, feeding and watering cattle, slopping pigs, etc.  So when Mom and Dad became sick, I stepped into that role of caregiver without a second thought.  I don't regret it, because it taught me a lot about myself and the perspective of others in that role.  Professionally I work with adults who have mental or physical disabilities... It's that caring nature coming out again.  

Once I was diagnosed with my condition, it gave me a shocking perspective that changed how I cared for others.  It changed how I see different things, no longer is fatigue synonymous with sleepy.  I know that sounds weird but for me it is the truth.  Sometimes the fatigue can be so bad that I struggle just to do what I absolutely must do... but I'm not sleepy or sleep deprived.  I'm just fatigued and my limbs are so heavy that lifting them sounds as unrealistic as lifting a parade of elephants with my bare hands... yet I do it, every single day.  On those bad days, I have never been so thankful when they occur on the days that I'm off work.  

I used to be an activity based person, bonding with others through actions, games, etc... Now I am much more conversation based.  And the brutal truth is that that is becoming more and more text based.  Its not that I'm hiding from the world, but with my asthma the way that it is, actual conversation can be difficult to manage sometimes - especially when the pain and fatigue is at its worse.  

Songs that get me smiling!

Nov. 12: Top Three Tuesdays!  Name three songs that you can listen to that get you out of a low point or lift your spirits.

I have blogged about music a lot in the past, I love music and it helps get me out of my head sometimes.  But there are times that the wrong song can drop my mood faster than a lead balloon.  

The first one is Katy Perry's Roar.  This song reminds me that I teach people how they treat me, so I should not be afraid to roar!  

The second one is Miranda Lambert's All Kinds of Kinds.  This song is about acceptance and how the world is made up of "all kinds of kinds".  

I saved the best one for last!  This song ALWAYS makes me smile, and this version gives me a little dance wiggle to my step.  DeStorm Power's remix, Don't Worry Be Happy.

Do huh?!

Nov. 6.  Say WHAT?!  What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve heard about your health condition? Was there any context? What did you think at the time you heard it – and what do you think of it now?

The very first Rheumatologist that I had an appointment with made a shocking discovery of my 'situation' (as he called it).  I was in my mid-20s and unmarried, no children, and working full time.  I was having a great deal of "residue pain" from a severe case of the shingles (that I developed two years before).  This Doc explained that my 'situation' was because I was single and did not have any children yet.  That my body was 'wanting to become a mother and spend my time at home caring for children and a husband' instead of 'wasting my life at a job'.  -Spoiler Alert- He was a bit of a jackass, and I told him as much!  That's when he enlightened my poor not-made-for-thinking feminine brain to the theory of my body rebelling against me in this way because I was denying myself what 'should matter most'...  At that point I wasn't angry at him anymore, I wasn't offended or insulted... I felt so sad for him and his family... and God help, his children. 

Of course I've also had other wild zaney diagnosis/opinions given to me, but this one was definitely the one that leapt to mind when I seen this blog prompt.

Getting back on topic here, after all of my crazy appointments I can definitely appreciate the episode of The Golden Girls in which Dorothy has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Sick and Tired, Season 5 Episodes 2 and 3.   

A better offer

A friend posted this on Facebook this morning, and ... it has really touched my heart.  

When my daughter was a toddler, I used to take her to a park not far from our apartment. One day as she was playing in a sandbox, an ice-cream salesman approached us. I purchased her a treat, and when I turned to give it to her, I saw her mouth was full of sand. Where I had intended to put a delicacy, she had put dirt.

Did I love her with dirt in her mouth? Absolutely. Was she any less of my daughter with dirt in her mouth? Of course not. Was I going to allow her to keep the dirt in her mouth? No way. I loved her right where she was, but I refused to leave her there. I carried her over to the water fountain and washed out her mouth. Why? Because I love her.

God does the same for us. He holds us over the fountain. "Spit out the dirt, honey," our Father urges. "I've got something better for you." And so he cleanses us of filth; immorality, dishonesty, prejudice, bitterness, greed. We don't enjoy the cleansing; sometimes we even opt for the dirt over the ice cream. "I can eat dirt if I want to!" we pout and proclaim. Which is true—we can. But if we do, the loss is ours. God has a better offer.

Thank you Tae Travis for sharing this!   

My Mascot

Nov. 3:  My Mascot!  Give your condition, community, or self a mascot. Who is it? What do they represent? What is their battle cry? 

I read a story a dozen years or so ago that has really truly stuck with me. I have clung to it since my diagnosis and it has gotten me through a lot... 

The Butterfly's Struggle  

Once a little boy was playing outdoors and found a fascinating caterpillar. He carefully picked it up and took it home to show his mother. He asked his mother if he could keep it, and she said he could if he would take good care of it. The little boy got a large jar from his mother and put plants to eat, and a stick to climb on, in the jar. Every day he watched the caterpillar and brought it new plants to eat. 

One day the caterpillar climbed up the stick and started acting strangely. The boy worriedly called his mother who came and understood that the caterpillar was creating a cocoon. The mother explained to the boy how the caterpillar was going to go through a metamorphosis and become a butterfly. The little boy was thrilled to hear about the changes his caterpillar would go through.  

He watched every day, waiting for the butterfly to emerge. One day it happened, a small hole appeared in the cocoon and the butterfly started to struggle to come out. At first the boy was excited, but soon he became concerned. The butterfly was struggling so hard to get out! It looked like it couldn’t break free! It looked desperate! It looked like it was making no progress! The boy was so concerned he decided to help. He ran to get scissors, and he snipped the cocoon to make the hole bigger and the butterfly quickly emerged!   

As the butterfly came out the boy was surprised. It had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. He continued to watch the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would dry out, enlarge and expand to support the swollen body. He knew that in time the body would shrink and the butterfly’s wings would expand. But neither happened! 

The butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly… As the boy tried to figure out what had gone wrong his mother took him to talk to a scientist from a local college. He learned that the butterfly was SUPPOSED to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly. The boy’s good intentions hurt the butterfly.

As you go through life, keep in mind that struggling is an important part of any growth experience. In fact, it is the struggle that causes you to develop your ability to fly.

So for this reason, sometimes when I am struggling with my illness - I imagine it is a cocoon that I am pushing through... and that I will emerge a beautiful butterfly. 

So my battle cry?  Every struggle is a lesson, but its up to you to learn it.

I think I can... I know I can...

Nov. 2.  Little Engine Post

Write 3 lines that start with “I think I can…”

Then write 3 lines that start with “I know I can…”

1)  I think I can learn to enjoy my life again.

2)  I think I can find a way to dream again.

3)  I think I can learn to love myself again.

1)  I know I can accept that I cannot change my family's view of me and my health.

2)  I know I can be the one to make me happy. 

3)  I know I can still live the life I want to live - on a certain level.

A lot of this is where I am still reeling from the loss of my parents.  Over the last few years I really defined myself by my role in taking care of them... and now that they are gone... I'm very lost... And my health is displaying that.  Or maybe this is the result of me ignoring my health for so long because my priority was caring for them?  I'm not sure... but I need a change - desperately... Sometimes it feels like my life depends on it.

Favorite Health Apps

Nov. 1:  Favorite Fridays!  Tell us what your favorite health apps are and how people can find them.  (Oh this is a good way to start the blog challenge!)

I'm not 100% sure that my answers are what WEGO Health is looking for, but the applications that help me the most are: 

• Awesome Cal - Syncs with Google Calendar so I can keep up with appointments/meetings/etc.  This app helps me tremendously as I am struggling to juggle a career, my diagnosis, and family events.  There is a free version available, but I did upgrade to the $4.99 professional application.  It also syncs with my Google Tasks - so I'm less likely to forget something. :) 
• Office-Fit - Helps me think of new ways to work a little fitness into my spoonie life.  This app even has an option for being at my desk - which includes sitting versions of the activity we all need.
• iPharmacy - Answers all of my med questions when my foggy brain can't think straight
• WebMD - I love WebMD and adore their app!
• Walgreens - I can refill my scripts by scanning the codes, so much easier than trying to punch in the script numbers on days that my fingers/hands ache.
• Sleep Pillow - Whenever I am stressed or irritated, this helps me relax - no matter where I am!  I plug in my earbuds and can listen to the ocean waves, a rain storm, jungle noises, or even a generic white noise.  Plus it's free!
• MyFitnessPal - I don't always pay attention to my caloric intake, but I do watch my carbs very closely.  MFP provides excellent nutritional information for almost everything I like! 
• iHeartRadio - Love Love Love - Everyone needs a little music!  I love love love this app.  I really like how the upgrade includes a selection option where you can customize your music for whatever you are doing (ie: working out, relaxing, paperwork, etc).  

All of these apps can be found at the iTunes Store.  Each one is free - except for the upgrade I purchased for the AmazingCal app - but they do have a free version.  

Note: Yes I have an iphone so these are iphone apps but there are android counterparts for most of them! :) 

WEGO Health's 30 Days 30 Posts Blog Challenge

Instead of doing Thankful November like I did last year, I am going to participate in 

 WEGO Health's 30 Days 30 Posts Blog Challenge.  

What is 30 Days 30 Posts Blog Challenge - you ask?  Well, allow me to take the prompts from their page and share them here.

Below are the topics for each day of the month.  Happy writing!

Nov. 1

Favorite Fridays
Tell us what your favorite health apps are and how people can find them.

Nov. 2

Little Engine PostWrite 3 lines that start with “I think I can…”

Then write 3 lines that start with “I know I can…”

Nov. 3

My Mascot!
Give your condition, community, or self a mascot. Who is it? What do they represent? What is their battle cry?

Nov. 4

Training Wheels
Write about a time your health condition forced you to grow up and take the training wheels off (so to speak).

Nov. 5

Election Day!
Votes are in – you won!
If you got elected President, what are the three changes you would make to healthcare?

Nov. 6

Say WHAT?!
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve heard about your health condition? Was there any context? What did you think at the time you heard it – and what do you think of it now?

Nov. 7

Mary Poppins Carpet Bag
Write about what’s in your bag/purse/backpack every day – and why!

Nov. 8

Favorite FridaysMake a list of 3 favorite quotes.

Nov. 9

Just Admit ItIt’s taboo, write about something that people do but don’t like to talk about or won’t admit to doing. Don’t worry, we won’t tell anyone!!  :)

Nov. 10

Alternative Medicine
Write about alternative treatments and regimens and tell us how you feel about them. What do you support? What is crazy? Have you used any?

Nov. 11

Veteran’s Day
For all our veterans and family members, we celebrate this day because it marks the end of WWI, at the 11^th hour on the 11^th day of the 11^th month. Do you have a task you complete every day at the same time that helps you with your chronic illness? How long have you been doing this, how has it helped?

Nov. 12

Top Three Tuesdays
Name three songs that you can listen to that get you out of a low point or lift your spirits.

Nov. 13

EvolutionWrite about how being a patient or caregiver has changed you. How have your goals changed? Have your values changed?

Nov. 14

First Day on the Job
Working with a chronic illness can be a difficult balance. What should you divulge, what should you hold back, and how do you balance it all? Do you have advice for others?

Nov. 15

Favorite FridaysWho are your favorite people to follow on social media? (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc.)

Nov. 16

Well, that was Embarrassing…
What’s the most awkward situation your health condition ever put you in? (Don’t be bashful, we’re all friends here). Maybe ou can look back on it now and laugh, but it wasn’t so funny then.

Nov. 17

Favorite Friday: Invisible Illness vs. Visible IllnessWhat are some stigmas you have experienced with your invisible OR visible illness that have made you feel invisible? How have you tackled them?

Nov. 18

Three Truths and a Lie
Tell us three things that are true about you, your condition, your Health Activism, or your life. Now tell us a lie. Do you think we will be able to tell the difference?

Nov. 19

Top Three TuesdayGive three pieces of advice you would give to a caregiver.

Nov. 20

“I Still Remember…”Free write a post that starts with this line and describes an unforgettable moment in your health journey. (For example, Cancer free, diagnosis, etc.)

Nov. 21

Mental Mind Meld
Mental health issues can affect many other conditions. Write about mental health, emotions, and challenges as they relate to your condition. How does your mental health affect your overall wellbeing?

Nov. 22

Favorite FridaysWhat are your favorite blogs to read and why?

Nov. 23

Teaching the Teacher
What’s something you taught your doctor related to your health?

Nov. 24

Take the High Road
Write about a time you had to be the bigger person and take the high road.

Nov. 25

It’s the Holiday SeasonGive us some tips you use to balance the holidays and your health. How do you stay within your own boundaries and make sure you follow your health regime/plan?

Nov. 26

Top Three TuesdaysList three questions you have for other patients.

Nov. 27

Black Friday and Holiday ShoppingIn preparation for Black Friday holiday shopping, give some advice on how to survive the long lines and packed stores. How do you find the best bathrooms? How do you stay comfortable on your feet? Give us some tips before heading to the stores.

Nov. 28

A Time to Give ThanksWhat’s the one thing you’re most thankful for? Write a list of three things that you’re thankful for, excited about, or inspired by.

Nov. 29

Toot that Horn!Want to hear a secret? You’re awesome. (It’s actually not even really a secret). This is going to be hard for you, O Modest One, but you gotta give yourself props today! Write three things you love about yourself – things you’re great at – or just want to share. Don’t you dare signpost or undercut those self-compliments!

Nov. 30

That’s a Wrap!
Nominate someone for a Health Activist Award and write a post about why you nominated them!