The content in this blog is based on my experiences and the guidance I have received from my Care Team determined by my individual and evolving needs. Before beginning, trying, or experimenting with anything mentioned in this blog, you

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Grief and Fibro

Mom passed last night, but Hospice didn't come 'pronounce' her deceased until the wee hours this morning...

I'm tired... numb... and in a hazy surreal state... mainly, I'm just tired.

Grief is hard enough to handle without my body going into a full rebellious flareup.  Hoping fibro waits until after the service to hit.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


... the night got much worse... Mom was admitted into the hospital and they are saying she only has a few days left... I know that only God knows when our time is up, but... 

Stress stress and more stress.

Please keep my family in your prayers. 

Monday, November 7, 2011

Who? Who? Who?

I need this on a t-shirt today.  Between the tests this morning making me sick (upper GI and a ton of blood work) and my fibro fog kicking in (who are you talking about? what? who?) - my day may go easier if I just pretend to be an owl.  I wouldn't mind being propped up somewhere safe, sleeping the day away...

I've had a history of not keeping meals down for a long time now, at least a few years... At the time, I was told it was a combination of my fibro and stress.  Now the doctors are not so sure anymore.  That's why I needed the upper GI done - but I got so sick during it that they had to cancel it!  I hate being sick like that in public but it was oddly satisfying... The x-ray tech was giving me one of those looks - you know the ones we get when someone thinking "yeah right you aren’t sick you are just lazy".  Except her face said "yeah right, a fat girl that can't keep food down. Funny."  So in that sense, even though it was embarrassing, I'm kind of glad that I proved her look wrong.  Then again, the hang-over feeling afterwards - I'm not so sure it was worth it.  (Secretly I will say that it was but I don't want to appear catty.) 

So all of that mess for nothing.  Then the doctor also ordered a ton of blood work (8 vials of blood!) and I don't do well once they take 4.  So I was sick again. 

<sarcasm> So far, this Monday morning is off to a "great" start.  </sarcasm>

Maybe I'll just look for a perch in a tree somewhere out back... take a nap :)

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Happy on Purpose

"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."
 - John Wooden

I try to live each day with these words in mind.  Since the onset of my condition I have lost the ability to do some things, but there are other things I can do better now because of my experiences.  

I have always believed that things happen for a reason and that God has a plan for all of us.  While I'm not 'bragging' about my fibromyalgia lupus combination, I do feel it has made me a more compassionate patient person.  I am even more grateful for the people in my life, the small things that make me smile each day, and the time I have with those I love.

I choose to be happy and thankful on purpose.     

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