Evolving as a person

Nov. 13.  Evolution.  Write about how being a patient or caregiver has changed you. How have your goals changed? Have your values changed?

I was always the one helping take care of everyone while I was growing up.  I assisted Mom with babysitting, by either changing diapers, giving snacks, helping younger kids with their homework, etc.  I also did a lot of work with the animals on the farm, feeding and watering cattle, slopping pigs, etc.  So when Mom and Dad became sick, I stepped into that role of caregiver without a second thought.  I don't regret it, because it taught me a lot about myself and the perspective of others in that role.  Professionally I work with adults who have mental or physical disabilities... It's that caring nature coming out again.  

Once I was diagnosed with my condition, it gave me a shocking perspective that changed how I cared for others.  It changed how I see different things, no longer is fatigue synonymous with sleepy.  I know that sounds weird but for me it is the truth.  Sometimes the fatigue can be so bad that I struggle just to do what I absolutely must do... but I'm not sleepy or sleep deprived.  I'm just fatigued and my limbs are so heavy that lifting them sounds as unrealistic as lifting a parade of elephants with my bare hands... yet I do it, every single day.  On those bad days, I have never been so thankful when they occur on the days that I'm off work.  

I used to be an activity based person, bonding with others through actions, games, etc... Now I am much more conversation based.  And the brutal truth is that that is becoming more and more text based.  Its not that I'm hiding from the world, but with my asthma the way that it is, actual conversation can be difficult to manage sometimes - especially when the pain and fatigue is at its worse.