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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Rough Night

Over the years I have read dozens of blogs from authors who have some sort of illness or disability.  They tend to be upbeat and really don't show the down sides of having chronic conditions.  I want this blog to be honest.  Good days and bad. 


Last night was a rough night.  I was restless, muscles were aching, hot flashing, and couldn't sleep.  I was uncomfortable and couldn't stop crying for long.  Plus my sugar is sky high!  Along the way I have learned to pay close attention to my body for signs of what it is trying to tell me.  I think I am getting some kind of infection, so I will get out my antibiotic supply and start a few days of one of them.  I'm still not feeling well today, but I have an idea of what is going on.  There are certain infections I tend to get frequently, otherwise I would call the doctor. 

I've always had emotional responses to infections and illnesses.  Not just the normal tired whiney mood but I can do a pretty good job knowing what is going on in my body... sometimes. lol  When I have a respiratory infection, I tend to sleep all the time and cannot seem to shake the fatigue.  When I have a staph infection, suddenly I question everything about myself and cry a lot... I don't mean a few tears here and there, I mean uncontrollable weeping until I have a hard time breathing.  


The hardest part of having fibromyalgia and lupus isn't the way that I have to find new ways to do things I have done forever... or the way that my energy goes from normal to non existent in a heartbeat... the worst part, for me, is the loneliness that comes with having a chronic condition.  From time to time, I can feel myself being pulled into isolation for a brief period, I don't know how to describe it and don't understand what happens.  My solution?  I watched a few movies to try and take my mind away from it and today I will rest as much as possible.  



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