Two Weeks

Three couples—one elderly, one middle-aged, one young and newly wed—apply for membership in a church. The pastor informs them that the requirement for new parishioners is that they abstain from sex for two weeks. The couples agree and go their separate ways.

After two weeks, they return. The pastor asks the elderly pair if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "No problem at all, Pastor," replies the old man.

"Congratulations!" says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." 

He turns to the middle-aged couple and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "It was difficult," replies the husband. "By the end of the second week, I had to sleep on the couch, but we did it."

"Congratulations on overcoming temptation," says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." 

He then turns to the newlyweds and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks.

"At first it was no problem," says the husband. "But one day my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf, and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," says the pastor.

"We know," says the young man. "We’re not welcome at the supermarket anymore either."

Mom and Dad

For my parents, I miss you both.

Thank you for the time you were in my life and the woman you helped me become. 

I love you,

Always.

Happy Hump Day!

Find a reason to laugh every day, even on Wednesdays!

Vitameatavegamin

Every time that someone approaches me about vitamins or asks what vitamins I take, this is what goes through my head.  While it does make me smile, it also helps me remember that - despite the nasty taste, vitamins can give positive results.  

People often ask me what vitamins I take and when I take them, so I thought I would retouch on the list here.  

• B-12 - morning (Major energy!!  Take that fatigue!!)
• CoQ10 - morning (Energy!  Take that fatigue!!)
• Vitamin C - morning (Energy!  Take that fatigue!!)
• Calcium - night (and it helps prevent muscle cramps)
• Biotin - night (pretty hair and stronger nails)
• Vitamin D - night 
• Mega Red 3 Krill Oil - night (generic)
• Melatonin - night (This is what good dreams are made of!)
• Multivitamin - night
• Probiotic Acidophilus - Is this considered a vitamin?  I take it at night too.
• Zinc - night (strengths immune system)

Yes, that is a lot of stuff!  But it helps me function and move (and have the energy) to work, play with my niece, and actually shower every day. lol   You should see it in combination with my scripted medications!  Yes it gets expensive, but I had to make a decision about what truly matters to me... And, right now, it is having the ability to life life the way I (realistically) chose to.  

Although my ultimate choice would be to be sipping cool pineapple juice on the beach of some beautiful secluded island, while my feet were being massaged by hunky men and the shore was lulling me to sleep.  Alas, that is not possible... but if it was, with my luck the sound of the waves would just make me need to go pee.  :-/  :-) 

Important: All of my vitamin choices 

have been approved by my Care Team.  

Please do not begin taking anything without 

first consulting your health care provider.  
Thank you.